Linsanity
by KitTea
Summary: Happy (late) FMA Day everyone! This is a fanfic to celebrate. ;3


Ling yawned. "I'm hungry!" He declared. His two bodyguards didn't answer. "That weird boy might not help us again though..." He tapped his chin.

He noticed something out of the corner of his eye. "Aha!" He shouted. He had spotted the homunculus, Envy. Ling could just go and talk to him! The shape-shifter probably had plenty of money and food and stuff to spare. Plus...he had one of those red stones inside of him. Ling grinned. Jackpot.

"Heeelp...meeee..." He jumped in front of Envy and flopped around. "Soooo...hungryyyyyy!" He moaned. Ling grabbed his stomach. "Foooooodd..."

Ling's two bodyguards kept an eye on him, but didn't interfere.

Envy jumped back, his eyes wide. He looked a bit a disturbed. "Wha-huh?" Then he stopped. "It's you! Xing brat!"

Ling stopped flopping around for a moment. "I have a name..." Then he started wiggling on the ground and moaning. "I'm staaaarving! Can't a homun-"

"No!" Envy cried. Now he looked really disturbed...

Ling went limp, but he had a steel grip on Envy's ankles.

"Oh lord..." Envy muttered. "Fine! Just get off of me, Xing brat!"

Ling grinned.

OoO

An hour later Ling was stacking up all of the bowls and plates on the table. He had put everything on Envy's tab, and the homunculus looked very annoyed.

"Thank you, dear friend!" Ling cried. "Now I know who to come to when I need help-"

"No." Envy back up. "Don't come back to me, Xing brat!" Then he ran off, still looking quite disturbed.

"Prince?" One of Ling's bodyguards approached him. "Shall we go after him to try to obtain the stone?"

"Not yet..."

OoO

Two hours later, Ling was hungry again. He sighed. "I can't ask that weird boy or that weird girl/boy palm tree..." He muttered.

Then he saw something out of the corner of his eye. "Aha!" He shouted. He had spotted the homunculus, Lust.

He dived in front of her, and began flopping around. "Help meeee! I'm starviiiiing!"

Lust, too, looked extremely disturbed. She turned away, but Ling just flopped after her.

"Gluttony..." She growled. "You may eat the...uh...Xing brat."

Gluttony came out of nowhere. His eyes were wild with hunger, like Ling's. But Ling's were...hungrier. Like the other two homunculus, Gluttony became disturbed. It must have been very disturbing if even he was disturbed...

"I think we need to run." Lust muttered, eyeing Ling.

"Please lady!" Ling cried. "I'm starving!"

Gluttony nummed on his index finger. "Can I eat him, Lust?"

"Yes! I said yes!" She roared.

"But...he's scary!" Gluttony complained. He really must've been 'scary' if this was coming out of Gluttony's mouth...

"Fine! I'll kill him!" Lust's fingers began to grow, ready to impale the prince. Then, Mustang randomly appeared.

"I'll kill you!" He roared.

OoO

After all that, Ling gave up. "Let's go ask someone else." His bodyguards didn't answer.

He saw Ed. "Edwaaard..." He groaned, flopping over to Ed and Al. "I'm staarvinggg-"

"Leave him there." Ed growled to his brother.

Al looked horrified. At least...as horrified as a suit of armor could look. "Big brother!" He cried.

Ling laughed feebly. "Fine. I'll have Gluttony eat us again." He teased, his eyes shifty.

"Not that again!" Ed yelled. "Okay! Just hurry up and get it over with!"

OoO

Yet again, Ling was stacking up all of the bowls and plates. "Put it on my friend's tab here." He told the waiter with a grin.

"You annoying little bastard..." Ed growled, holding up his fist.

OoO

Ling decided, an hour later, that he'd go disturb one more person.

So he sneakily followed Gluttony who was leading Al into the place where they'd find Father and where Scar and May Chang were also following the two and where Ed and Ling were supposed to show up after exploding from Gluttony's stomach with Envy and he realized that he was supposed to be with Ed and he had accidentally ruined the whole plotline and that this was a pointless run-on sentence but he didn't exactly care because logic had been thrown out of the window a while ago.

He showed up and began flopping around in front of Father.

Father was greatly disturbed too, so he created some food for Ling to get the prince away from him.

OoO

Ling was finally full, so he and his bodyguards went home.

Yeah...that was his real reason for going to Amestris. Just to annoy some people and eat. Oh well.

He forgot to accept Greed into him.

Oh well. Who cares? He was still able to become emperor in the end!

...oh well.


End file.
